Tragedy. No other words could explain my life so well. A never-ending cycle of pain and misery had clad my new life.
The wounds on my flesh were festering and continued to gnaw my insides.
On a chilly night when the moonlight pervaded the world, I climbed across the bridge of the Hestia River. As I looked up at the dark sky, white snow began to fall slowly.
The white snow born into this world was pure and beautiful. Snow comes down from the heavens and always gets people's praises. But the snow only goes through the process of falling pitifully. Down and down, just falling.
The white snow, which appeared noble and beautiful, eventually touches the ground and its existence vanishes in a blink of an eye. The white snow dances in the air, but as soon as it reaches the filthy ground, dirt would suck it out of this world and instantly turns black.
I'm similar to that of a white snow.
I was born a noble being, praised by everyone, but became a vagrant overnight.
Like the snow, I'm melting on the dirty ground and would soon disappear.
The winter wind whipped my whole body. The harsh wind was not something a thinly clothed beggar could bear. Holes were everywhere, and the soles of my shoes were also worn out.
Living as a beggar and unable to wash up, my fine skin turned heavy with dirt and my hair that seemed to have clumped together and trimmed unevenly was stiff. My hands and feet were red and itchy.
No one would think of me as the Duke of Hailon's princess, Rose Hailon.
That's why I was able to make this choice.
"I'm so tired now."
Poverty, cold, people. All this has been bothering me. After being kicked out of the house, my life was a succession of misery like walking on the sharp edge of the knife. Every step was painful.
The chilly wind blew on me but strangely I didn't feel cold. My life was colder than this.
Recently, it was hard to even get a slice of bread. Even though I'm barely holding on to my feet as I begged for food, they would kick me in return.
In the past, when I thought about dying, I had uncertain fears...... now there was only relief left.
Eventually, I gained the courage to finally end my life. At last.
But even in relief, I couldn't help but recall the one person who compelled me to make this terrible decision.
"Cecilia Saint."
It's been a long time since I called that name out loud, but it didn't feel strange at all.
She and I were friends beyond social standing. Cecilia, the daughter of a mere viscount, and Rose, the daughter of an esteemed duke.
It was a meeting of two polar opposites. Despite the nature of social circles where people with similar ranks gather together, we instantly became friends.
It all started with a little sympathy.
Like the snow, I'm melting on the dirty ground and would soon disappear.
The winter wind whipped my whole body. The harsh wind was not something a thinly clothed beggar could bear. Holes were everywhere, and the soles of my shoes were also worn out.
Living as a beggar and unable to wash up, my fine skin turned heavy with dirt and my hair that seemed to have clumped together and trimmed unevenly was stiff. My hands and feet were red and itchy.
No one would think of me as the Duke of Hailon's princess, Rose Hailon.
That's why I was able to make this choice.
"I'm so tired now."
Poverty, cold, people. All this has been bothering me. After being kicked out of the house, my life was a succession of misery like walking on the sharp edge of the knife. Every step was painful.
The chilly wind blew on me but strangely I didn't feel cold. My life was colder than this.
Recently, it was hard to even get a slice of bread. Even though I'm barely holding on to my feet as I begged for food, they would kick me in return.
In the past, when I thought about dying, I had uncertain fears...... now there was only relief left.
Eventually, I gained the courage to finally end my life. At last.
But even in relief, I couldn't help but recall the one person who compelled me to make this terrible decision.
"Cecilia Saint."
It's been a long time since I called that name out loud, but it didn't feel strange at all.
She and I were friends beyond social standing. Cecilia, the daughter of a mere viscount, and Rose, the daughter of an esteemed duke.
It was a meeting of two polar opposites. Despite the nature of social circles where people with similar ranks gather together, we instantly became friends.
It all started with a little sympathy.
Standing alone in the grandly open banquet was a young lady who everybody ignored and treated as a pariah.
Who would have known? I never thought I'd lose everything because of that little sympathy which was actually arrogance.
It's a story about a person helping a friend who gets bullied but ends up being bullied by everyone. That person is me, the heroine of this futile and insignificant story.
My life has become tragedy after tragedy since I met her.
I was called the flower of society and always surrounded by people. Then one day, a young lady who was always standing in the corner caught my eye. She was a provincial aristocrat whose status was neither lowly nor influential.
Who would have known? I never thought I'd lose everything because of that little sympathy which was actually arrogance.
It's a story about a person helping a friend who gets bullied but ends up being bullied by everyone. That person is me, the heroine of this futile and insignificant story.
My life has become tragedy after tragedy since I met her.
I was called the flower of society and always surrounded by people. Then one day, a young lady who was always standing in the corner caught my eye. She was a provincial aristocrat whose status was neither lowly nor influential.
She just seemed pitiful. Everyone was happy while she was just standing alone in a quiet corner.
I showed her good intentions with a light heart.
That arrogance was the biggest mistake of my life, the beginning of my misery.
I first approached Cecilia and greeted her, wanting to become closer. She timidly listened to me as I chatted away.
I befriended her since I'm not the type to meet a person based on their status.
She said I'm the only person who's being nice to her. She was wondering how I'm able to talk to a girl who looks gloomy.
I wanted to transform her. I wanted to see her being praised by everyone, compensating for the times she was being ridiculed.
I changed her clothes and ordered a maid to do her hair and makeup. Then she transformed quite remarkably.
Her gloomy self was gone and replaced by a lovely and radiant young lady. I thought what I did was a good thing. I had found a pearl in the mud and I wanted to brag it to everyone.
So when I entered the halls with her at the next banquet, everyone's attention was on Cecilia. For a lady that always received everyone's attention, I was feeling a bit of displeasure but on days like this, I corrected my thinking and thought that it was good for her to shine.
That's how she got along with the people around me.
One day, I found out that my original friends and Cecilia often met separately. Having no friends in society, I thought it would be a great development for her to meet someone other than me.
Bad rumors started to circulate about me, but I'm not bothered by it. Because I'm a princess loved by everyone. Strangely enough, the number of tea party invitations I received gradually decreased, but I wasn't fazed either way.
For Cecilia was by my side. She said she'd be with me forever.
Then, I slowly began to drop out of society, and before I knew it, they stopped inviting me to every gathering. It was such a natural flow that I was easily swept by it.
One day she told me.
"Rose, I think I have to go back now."
"What do you mean go back?"
"I'd love to be with you more, but now that the banquet's over. .....I exhausted my allowance. I don't have money anymore, so I don't have anywhere else to stay. I'm going back to my hometown, Ogel."
At the end of those words, I couldn't help but broke into tears and was holding onto her.
If a friend says she can't be with me because she doesn't have any money, how am I supposed to react?
"Cecilia, what do you mean? Stay with me. Why don't you come to my house?"
So Cecilia was brought into the residence of Hailon duchy.
Cecilia greeted my parents with a tight hug. She said it's how she greeted others from where she lived.
Everyone was embarrassed, but from what I heard, provincial nobles did not learn proper etiquette so I thought it was expected.
At first, my parents were surprised, but they smiled and said it's like having another daughter. It was surprising that my blunt father said such words.
She gradually began to worm her way into the hearts of everyone in the mansion, including my family.
When I asked her why she was acting coquettish all the time, she replied that she was just trying to adjust quickly because it was an unfamiliar place. I believed what she said quite foolishly.
With Cecilia's charming and vibrant appearance, everyone was kind to her. Even the attention that had to be given to me was given to her first.
I was disappointed, but I endured it, thinking that she was a guest and a friend.
Then one day, Cecilia smiled brightly and left, saying, "If I get married, I won't be able to see my parents all the time, so I think it would be better to spend more time with them now." My parents saw her off, saying they were proud of her.
I was in a strange mood. Surely, I was the one who invited her here, but why is it so refreshing when she left?
But I didn't think deeply of it because she's already gone.
My father and mother were still looking at her in the distance, but I didn't care. They're not going to see her from now on anyways.
But four years later, she came back and shockingly became the foster daughter of the Hailon family.
With just a letter, Cecilia captivated the heart of the Duke of Hailon. The report said that her parents died unexpectedly in an accident and that she was forced to marry an elderly man in his 70s because she was saddled with debts.
There was not a word, but it seemed that the Duke of Hailon had already made a decision by himself.
He brought her here without even consulting me.
By this time, I was clearly aware of my feelings, unlike before. I was uncomfortable with her presence and became green with jealousy.
I became honest with my feelings and acted on them. However, not only was I scolded but I also end up being estranged from my parents.
I hated her for gradually taking what's mine. But I couldn't say anything to her. I became jealous and bitter of a friend who just lost her parents. I had complaints, but I only kept to myself.
Until Cecilia provoked me for the first time.
When she came back, she changed 180 degrees. But only in front of me.
"Rose, there's no one left around you anymore. I'll take everything away from you."
The sorrowful look she wore whenever we're in the presence of my parents was gone and what replaced was a stranger laughing at me. That was her declaration of war.
The anxiety that I had instinctively felt since she entered this mansion began to amplify.
It became difficult for me to control my emotions. The feeling of someone nibbling away at what's mine drove me mad with the anxiety that I was about to lose everything. I often got angry and nervous.
All my animosity turned towards her. I couldn't stand still on the favors she received every time.
Those favors were originally supposed to come to me.
I whined and throw a tantrum like a child saying, "Why is it always her and not me?"
But I didn't think deeply of it because she's already gone.
My father and mother were still looking at her in the distance, but I didn't care. They're not going to see her from now on anyways.
But four years later, she came back and shockingly became the foster daughter of the Hailon family.
With just a letter, Cecilia captivated the heart of the Duke of Hailon. The report said that her parents died unexpectedly in an accident and that she was forced to marry an elderly man in his 70s because she was saddled with debts.
There was not a word, but it seemed that the Duke of Hailon had already made a decision by himself.
He brought her here without even consulting me.
By this time, I was clearly aware of my feelings, unlike before. I was uncomfortable with her presence and became green with jealousy.
I became honest with my feelings and acted on them. However, not only was I scolded but I also end up being estranged from my parents.
I hated her for gradually taking what's mine. But I couldn't say anything to her. I became jealous and bitter of a friend who just lost her parents. I had complaints, but I only kept to myself.
Until Cecilia provoked me for the first time.
When she came back, she changed 180 degrees. But only in front of me.
"Rose, there's no one left around you anymore. I'll take everything away from you."
The sorrowful look she wore whenever we're in the presence of my parents was gone and what replaced was a stranger laughing at me. That was her declaration of war.
The anxiety that I had instinctively felt since she entered this mansion began to amplify.
It became difficult for me to control my emotions. The feeling of someone nibbling away at what's mine drove me mad with the anxiety that I was about to lose everything. I often got angry and nervous.
All my animosity turned towards her. I couldn't stand still on the favors she received every time.
Those favors were originally supposed to come to me.
I whined and throw a tantrum like a child saying, "Why is it always her and not me?"
My parents looked at me with disappointed eyes and eventually abandoned me after that incident.
Yes, because of that incident, I, an aristocratic being, was betrayed by my fiancé, expelled from my family, lived as a vagrant wandering on the streets, and came all the way here.
Indeed I was stupid, stupid, stupid. Why couldn't I see through that shallow trick? I was born into the aristocracy and received more education than anyone else, but why was I swayed by emotions and turned everything upside down?
The ugly regret is also over. I don't want to think anymore. No more.
Despite the cold winter wind, the Hestia River, which did not freeze, shone under the moonlight.
White snow slowly descended and pervaded the river. Snow that melts and disappears. I'll be in the same boat as the snow.
I'm glad no one knows I'm Rose Hailon. My name is the only thing I can keep. It'll never be taken away from me.
Today, a beggar who couldn't stand hunger in the cold winter threw herself into the Hestia River.
That beggar was me.
I once wondered if I would go to heaven or hell after I died. Shall I go to hell for living foolishly, or shall I go to heaven with God's sympathy since I have tasted misfortune?
The result was neither. Strangely, I didn't feel any pain that comes with death. No, rather, I felt warmth enveloping my whole body. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised at the feeling of something touching my lips. I could also see something else that I didn't want to see.
"Rose... ...I'm back......... my parents passed away......... I had nowhere to go...….”
Right in front of me was Cecilia with mournful tears.
This was not heaven or hell, but a day ten years ago. I blinked repeatedly at the unbelievable situation, but nothing changed.
I could see my father and mother hugging her afterward. Such a happy family but there was no me in it. Like that time ten years ago.
'What the hell is this......?'
Have I seen the future? No, no. It can't be. The terrible memories of the past were so vivid.
Nothing changed when I tried to reject this scene in my head. I really did come back to the past. Cecilia, at the age of 19, entered the Hailon residence as a nightmare.
Yes, because of that incident, I, an aristocratic being, was betrayed by my fiancé, expelled from my family, lived as a vagrant wandering on the streets, and came all the way here.
Indeed I was stupid, stupid, stupid. Why couldn't I see through that shallow trick? I was born into the aristocracy and received more education than anyone else, but why was I swayed by emotions and turned everything upside down?
The ugly regret is also over. I don't want to think anymore. No more.
Despite the cold winter wind, the Hestia River, which did not freeze, shone under the moonlight.
White snow slowly descended and pervaded the river. Snow that melts and disappears. I'll be in the same boat as the snow.
I'm glad no one knows I'm Rose Hailon. My name is the only thing I can keep. It'll never be taken away from me.
Today, a beggar who couldn't stand hunger in the cold winter threw herself into the Hestia River.
That beggar was me.
I once wondered if I would go to heaven or hell after I died. Shall I go to hell for living foolishly, or shall I go to heaven with God's sympathy since I have tasted misfortune?
The result was neither. Strangely, I didn't feel any pain that comes with death. No, rather, I felt warmth enveloping my whole body. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised at the feeling of something touching my lips. I could also see something else that I didn't want to see.
"Rose... ...I'm back......... my parents passed away......... I had nowhere to go...….”
Right in front of me was Cecilia with mournful tears.
This was not heaven or hell, but a day ten years ago. I blinked repeatedly at the unbelievable situation, but nothing changed.
I could see my father and mother hugging her afterward. Such a happy family but there was no me in it. Like that time ten years ago.
'What the hell is this......?'
Have I seen the future? No, no. It can't be. The terrible memories of the past were so vivid.
Nothing changed when I tried to reject this scene in my head. I really did come back to the past. Cecilia, at the age of 19, entered the Hailon residence as a nightmare.
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