"The Viscountess has arrived."
"Really? Well, I don't think it's a good idea to greet her here. Let someone guide her to the drawing-room."
"Are you going to be okay?”
"I'm okay. Don't worry too much."
'You think I'm gonna die?'
Is what I would like to say but I couldn't bring myself to say that for the sake of Oliviel's state of mind.
When I got out of bed, Oliviel quickly came up to my aid. Maybe in her eyes, I looked like a very sick, and fragile person.
Well, that was half right because I was really a sick patient waiting to die.
"You don't have to help me."
After recovering for a bit, I walked straight to the door with deliberately dignified steps. Then I turned around and asked Oliviel.
"What do you think? I seem fine, right?"
"Yes……." Oliviel finally replied as if she had given up.
Oliviel followed me out of the room as we headed towards the parlour.
Even if she was a designer, she was still an aristocrat so it was expected to greet her in the parlour.
"Her ladyship is here."
After arriving in front of the drawing-room, the waiting servant instantly announced my arrival before opening the door.
The door opened without a sound and I entered the room with only Oliviel in tow.
In the drawing-room, where I didn't even come frequently sat a blonde woman.
"Welcome, Viscountess Lumie."
At my greetings, Viscountess Lumie put down the cup she was holding and immediately got up from her seat to greet me.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Countess Theodore."
She looked like in her mid-forties. The successful designer, Viscountess Lumie, was an orphaned woman with a gentle disposition. The wrinkles around her eyes naturally curled along with the smile on her face.
I guess she's the type to smile a lot.
"I believed you wanted to fit a new dress?”
"Yes, I'd like to request a dress suitable for the Imperial ball.”
"Is there a design that you prefer?"
"There's none. I trust Viscountess Lumie's work, so please prepare it accordingly. I'll pay you handsomely."
It didn't matter how much it would cost because it won't be me who'll pay for it, but Richard.
Most of all, the Theodores is one of the most prominent families in the Empire. That's why Richard was capable of paying off his father-in-law's huge debts.
"Then, shall I start taking your measurements right away?”
"Gladly."
I got up from my seat and moved as Lumie told me to.
Lumie measured my body size with a tape measure taken out of her arm and carefully recorded it in her notebook.
After a short but tedious time, Viscountess Lumie, who finished noted all my sizes, began to draw something in her notebook.
She wrote for a long time before she showed it to me.
"Are you okay with this design?”
It was an A-line dress decorated with intricate beading, laces, and multiple ribbons. It has an open shoulder that emphasizes the collarbone and waist that outlines the curve of the body.
"That's fine. You can proceed to make it as is."
"Then I'll go ahead with this, and decide the details at my discretion. What color would you prefer?
"I think pink would be fine."
"Then let's go with pink."
"Great."
"It was brief. If there's nothing else you want to add then I'll get up first."
"Oh, there's nothing more. Thank you. I know you're quite busy so I shouldn't impose on you any further."
Lumie nodded as she stood up from her seat after carefully collected her things. I also stood up from my seat and met her eyes.
"I won't go far. I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling well today."
"That's all right. I'll get going now."
Viscountess Lumie, who received my apologies with a bright smile, left the drawing-room.
It was only after I checked that she had left and the door of the drawing-room was closed that I plopped down on the sofa, looking dog-tired.
From going to the training grounds in the morning to meeting Lumie and getting measured.
This daily life was so hard and overwhelming for me. It was proof that my physical strength was getting weaker.
* * *
It was not until that evening that I met Richard again. He was waiting for me at dinner as usual.
Normally I'd ask him if he'd waited, but today I sat down without speaking to him. Richard didn't talk to me either.
So the dinner between the two of us began in silence. The clattering of silverware was particularly annoying.
Even though I was deliberately cutting the meat as carefully as I could to make no sound, it seemed to reverberate loudly in the hall.
If I continue eating in this atmosphere, I felt like I would suffer from indigestion any second now.
After some time, I couldn't finish my meal so I put down my fork and knife.
"I don't have much of an appetite so I'll finish here first.”
After breaking the heavy silence, Richard's hands stopped. He stared at the food in front of him for a moment before opening his mouth.
"I thought the physician was here earlier. Are you still not feeling well?"
The news of the doctor's visit had reached his ears. The manor belonged to him, the Earl of Theodore, so it was natural that he would be notified of the comings and goings in his house.
It was too late to feign ignorance, so I narrowed my forehead for a moment before saying.
"Oh, I called in a doctor because I wasn't feeling well due to anemia. I heard he'll give me medicine for anemia sometime tomorrow."
Instead of telling the truth, I turned Darnella's disease into anemia and told him that.
"Is your anemia quite severe for you to faint?”
"What severe, perhaps only a little?”
"That's rather vague.”
"You can say that it's a bit serious.”
"Oh, really?"
Richard was seemingly thinking about something before looking at me with skeptical eyes. I was afraid I'll be caught lying so I avoided his gaze.
"Then shouldn't you eat more?"
"Indeed, that was my plan."
"Then why get up first?"
"I told you earlier, didn't I? I have no appetite.”
"Why don't you eat a little more?”
I sat down for a moment at Richard's suggestion and looked at the prepared food in front of me. The T-bone steak was appetizingly laid out and anointed with a violently rich sauce, but I didn't really feel like eating it.
If I force myself to eat, I would really suffer from indigestion as I thought earlier.
In the end, I shook my head.
"No, I'm going to get sick after eating more. That would make it worse."
Hearing my words, Richard nodded in agreement.
"Then I won't suggest you eat anymore."
"Thank you for your consideration."
"Also…."
I thought the conversation was finally over when Richard started speaking once more. I had to listen yet again, unable to get out of my seat.
"... What I said during the day was too much."
I was wondering what he was going to say. So he was going to bring up what happened on the field.
"I just..."
"I understand what you mean. I don't think you're wrong."
Perhaps what he wanted to say that it wasn't intentional. But this wasn't a matter of either intentional or not.
I realized on what attitude I should take from his words earlier. I don't have the right to think that his actions concerning me were reprehensible.
Yeah, I've kept forgetting.
I realized that I had forgotten my place until now because Richard hadn't mentioned it or reprimanded me once.
I was under the illusion that I had become the real mistress of this house, the Countess of Theodore.
I didn't love him unlike the original Diana, and I thought that if I didn't forget that, I wouldn't have to live such a miserable life until the moment I died.
But it wasn't the case.
Strictly speaking, I was the one who had been sold to Richard. Richard only wanted to establish an affinal relation with the Duke of Tristan.
That's all there is to it.
What's worse, he doesn't even know that I'm dying. He doesn't know that he paid for the defective product and yet...
"I'll be careful not to cause you any more concern.”
I'll deal with everything only within my boundaries.
"I'm going to excuse myself now."
"Diana."
When I tried to get up, Richard called me. At first, he was uncomfortable to even call me by my maiden name, but now, he's quite used to calling my given name.
Hesitatingly, I sat down once again and looked at him. Richard seemed sort of upset, his brows furrowed in displeasure.
Without a word, I waited for him to open his mouth. Richard moved his lips several times as if he had something to say but couldn't. He then swept his face with his hand and breathed a long sigh.
"I hope you don't misunderstand what happened earlier. I apologize for that."
"What misunderstanding?"
"Things you're thinking right now." Richard pressed on as if he saw through my own thoughts.
I don't know how much he knew what was inside my head, but at least Richard seems to be pricked by a guilty conscience.
"Diana, if you think that my actions or words offend you, please let me know.”
As I listened to him, I now understood why Diana had to crave love from him.
She was a person who needed affection. Even when Mother died and Father took away everything we had, all she expected from Father was affection.
But what she received was abandonment and abuse.
Then suddenly, she had a husband named Richard.
Diana, who knows nothing about the novel, must have opened her heart to this image of Richard. Because she was in desperate need of a little bit of kindness.
I can't tell if it's really kindness or refined manners accompanied with well-bred looks, but she was certainly expecting and hoping for something.
And then ended up falling in love that she couldn't turn back. But the love Diana hoped for was set to be destroyed.
It was neither kindness nor affection that Richard showed Diana.
"Richard, I understand what you're saying. Thank you for apologizing."
My lips parted in a smile that held no weight.
Richard stared at me with those piercing blue eyes.
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